Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Houston we have heartbeats!!

Today I went in for my second ultrasound!!!! We saw 3 beautiful heartbeats!! Hubby got all teary eyed and I poked fun of him because I'm just mean like that. If he only knew of all the times I cried so far. This one is going to make me an emotional train wreck when I am not the emotional type. We did talk about Baby B (we're thinking that one might not make it) I also talked to my high risk ob that I will be transferring to in 6 more weeks (I will be 12 weeks gestation).

Baby A - 120bpm (s)he is measuring 0.80cm
Baby B - 115bpm (s)he is measuring 0.76
Baby C - 121bpm (s)he is measuring 0.82

We got the talk of selective reduction (SR) again and this time they (RE & high risk OB) hinted very much that we should SR Baby B. They looked at the scan results from last weeks ultrasound. Baby B was measuring behind then too. His heart rate is a lot slower by 5bpm and is still a lot smaller.I was told that 20% of triplets spontaneously miscarriage... that is all 3 babies. GRRRREAT.. I did not need to know that given my track record. And SR carried it's own set of risks for miscarriage. Do we keep all three? Do we let Baby B suffer? There is a risk losing all three either way. The point of us doing fertility treatments was so that we could have a baby not get rid of a baby. What if we do SR.. Will I regret it? Will it hunt me for the rest of my life? What if the procedure causes me the miscarry all 3. My mind is plagued by all the what ifs.

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